Here I am, in Montreal on my computer. We did a quick walk of Old Montreal and my heart longs to go back. That will be done tomorrow, after the Indspire Conference is completed. http://indspire.ca/soaring Anyone want to volunteer to be a tour guide?
I still need to write a blog about my final trip to Stratford, with my friend, Mary. It was a perfect day in many ways. I finally say Much Ado, then cracked ribs laughing at The Matchmaker again. Maybe I'll do it tomorrow...or on the train back home on Wednesday.
60 Things I Learned This Season, in no particular order:
1 Buy early - I would have missed A Word or Two
2 There's enough on Stratfest's website to keep one happy over the winter.
3 Yes, one musical can change a life (Cordelia & 42nd Street).
4 Stratford employs wonderful people, on and off the stage, who almost always go that extra mile
5 Actors can improve a show over a matter of even a couple of weeks
6 Not enough praise goes to the costume designers or set designers or lighting designers or...
7 The look of the play can change dramatically from the first press shots to final stage production (ie - pictures of Sean Arbuckle as Pirate King, and Kyle Blair, are nothing like what ended up in the show).
8 Pay grade: Christopher Plummer is up here - everyone else is down here (Q&A with Sean A after 42nd Street)
9 Kids get Shakespeare when they see it better than when they read it (Luke at Cymbeline - 1st Shakespeare and he loved the entire 3 hours. He was 10 at the time).
10 Dressing kids up to see a play does help them to behave better.
11 Actors/actresses love knowing children are getting into the arts and will help them as much as they can with encouragement or answering questions
12 Dakota is the most shy child I have - he wouldn't go on camera for the Kids REact video.
13 If you don't ask, the answer is always no. Just ask!
14 A man should love and honour his girlfriend/wife as Cornelius Hackl does of Ms. Milloy
15 A good sword can be used in multiple plays and have a grand effect
16 Cymbeline - I doubt another Shakespeare play will ever attain this level of perfection again - but it will be fun trying
17 Bring kids to a beautiful spot to tell them news that may change their life forever. In that way, they will have a peaceful spot to remember the news (see blog on Hirsch)
18 Actors have an inner strength I can't understand (see Hirsch, but also Claire Lautier as Tamora in Titus from last year)
18 Everyone who works at Stratford makes it a success
19 Henry V- I didn't know one could ever miss a play, like a friend who moves away
20 Artists on Broadway help younglings reach for bigger dreams
21 Security on the Armouries is TIGHT but necessary!!
22 Question and answer moments on Stratfest's facebook helped us to learn a LOT
23 The Q&A's helped me to come up with Kids4Bard
24 One can act a really good French accent
25 Christopher Plummer can act, and has the best command of the English language I've witnessed
26 Going to a play alone is sometimes a good thing, but talking about a play with a child or friend afterwards may be necessary
27 Seeing other people's struggles onstage helps to bring my own solutions into focus (Wanderlust)
28 Hobbies for actors include: sewing, horse racing, and making perfumes (among others)
29 Happiness is reconnecting with a parent you thought you wouldn't feel close to again, ever
30 Stage Door meet & greets are always better when I'm with a child or a friend (I doubt I'll ever do one by myself, even if it was told me to I should - I'm too shy and would feel like a stalker)
31 Men who sing are fantazmazing.
32 Even the simplest of plays can be transformative (Charlie Brown)
33 I am completely jealous of women who sing (Ms. Peacock and Ms. Hutton)
34 Actors think Elvish is cool (Braeden feels like he found soulmates)
35 A man should do what you ask if they want to feel worthy of you (see Cornelius and Barnaby in Matchmaker)
36 Everyone remembers Cordelia.
37 Shirtless Wonders is a list which should grow every year.
38 Cara Ricketts is a wonderful human being - Cordelia wants to adopt her as a big sister she will never have
39 Closing night performances rip your heart out
40 I don't have a before/after theatre in my life - it's just always been there (thanks for helping me realize that, Josh)
41 building up A word or two to grandiose heights - and what I got out of it most was memories of my dad, and feeling like I was wrapped up in my favourite blanket
42 Tom Patterson Theatre is my favourite theatre
43 Backstage crew work long hours, after actors leave for drinks
44 Even a chorus girl can be a star
45 Nell and Pistol will stay with me forever - best love story of the season for me
46 I need Wanderlust on my ipod
47 Stratford Exhibition is one of my favourite places in the entire world - one day I'm going to retire there to volunteer
48 In first seasons, actors would stay with local families while the plays were going on (Sir Alec Guiness included)
49 It took around 14 hours to get costumes repaired and ready for 42nd Street's next performance
50 That look I saw in Cara's and Steve Ross' eyes... I got a glimpse into their hearts (see previous blogs)
51 Actors need to project at all times in case their microphones stop working
52 My kids really do love the theatre
54 I want someone to treat me like Cornelius wants to treat Ms. Milloy - every woman deserves that
55 Words are spectacular beings in their own right - how they are said, and how you receive are 2 different animals - domesticated or wild
56 We all need an adventure in our lives (I need to find that last monologue from Matchmaker and memorize it)
57 Introspection is rarely unfelt pain, but necessary to feel to get to where you want to be, or be who you want to become
58 Theatre creates safe zones for people (friends, strangers, family) to share their most intimate emotions, without fear of retaliation or of not being heard
59 Festival Theatre backstage is huge
60 Theatre can make you laugh as much as it can make you cry, but only if you open yourself up to your own emotions
I thought 60 would be hard to come up with, but I found I deleted some to add others. I may still have another 60 in my head...
Showing posts with label Wanderlust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wanderlust. Show all posts
Monday, 5 November 2012
Monday, 8 October 2012
A Day with Braeden, Pirates, and Cymbeline
Braeden loves swords. He has loved swords since before he could walk. He used to sword fight our Malamute's tail when he meandered by him. No one else could do that with Nanuq. Just Braeden.
When I saw Cymbeline with Luke earlier this season, I knew this was a production Braeden had to see. This was not a Braeden would just get a kick out of it production. He needed to see the fight scene.
My mom wanted to help this day be special to us, so she gave us money for rush seats to a matinee. Braeden had to chose between, "Much Ado About Nothing" (which I still have to see) or "Pirates of Penzance." I fell off of my seat when he chose Pirates. I didn't complain, mind you, but I would have bet money that he would have chosen anything but a musical.
I'm a sucker for a man who can...oh nevermind, I repeat myself.
I repeat myself.
I think Braeden eventually enjoyed the show. He didn's sleep much the night before. Do teens ever get enough sleep? To be honest, he did start to nod off, but the Major General song woke him up for good. He was quite impressed with the extra verses regarding Stratfest's 60 years. It was a great moment in the show.
True to form, the men and women sang their hearts out. Amy Wallis is devine. Kyle Blaire gorgeous and perfect as the Slave to Duty Frederick. Sean Arbuckle is quite the sexy Pirate King (up there with the Dread Pirate Roberts and Jack Sparrow). Gabrielle Jones, in my opinion, steals the show, as she does with 42nd Street. She is a force to be reckoned with. Amazing job. What I would give to be able to sing like that - or even closer to that!
The family who sat around us were great. They had 2 small children. The grandmother played Nell in a production (and her husband was a stage hand) in Pirates when they were younger. She sang as we were all leaving and I complimented her. She apologized for it. I have been told far too many times these past years to stop singing - no one will ever be told to stop around me, only complimented. She had a gorgeous voice.
We went to the stage door and talked with new people, Mark Cassius and Kyle Blaire. Mark was in Jesus Christ Superstar. Look him up on twitter - his tweets are always positive influences on my day, without fail. I'm glad I told him so. Life is too short to not give sincere compliments to people.
Kyle Blaire was ever so much taller than I thought he would be. He was so kind to Braeden and I. I made sure to tell him about how much 42nd Street influenced Cordelia with her tap dancing (she now practices her math flash cards, with her tap shoes on...she has me play Stratford's 42nd Street videos off of youtube...when she gets a question correct, she taps to the music....I really need to tape her doing it). I hadn't realized how dreamy Kyle Blaire was before. Perhaps I need to look at and stop just listening?
I will admit that I was high on men singing Saturday afternoon. I remember myself talking about 'men who can sing' ad nauseum...poor people who were listening to me - and Braeden. We made a quick stop at the Exhibition again. The woman working was the same woman from Braeden's birthday trip there. I really have loved, and continue to love, every Stratford employee I have met, on or off the stage. How do they find such treasures?
We meandered around the Festival Theatre Store for a while, where I picked up last year's programme (which Cordelia feasted on, picking out anyone she knew, figuring out what else they were in, finding her favourites - Cara Ricketts and Stephen Patterson). I didn't realize how many shows I missed last year, and how lucky I was this year to see so many. I am so blessed to be in the twitter club, and have generous parents, and win a contest or two. I'm glad my gas is cheap on the rez.
Now, Cymbeline has been built up by me to Braeden since June 9. I'm sure Braeden became sick of me telling him how great it was and how he needed to see this fight scene. I hoped I didn't build it up too high.
It turned out, I didn't build it up enough.
Here's my boy ready for the show:
If you look up "mytimeatlast" on youtube, you will find 2 videos of Braeden from last season, when we saw Titus. My son grew up. He loves to wear suits. He wears one to school every Friday (he sings Barney Stinson's song, too, "Nothing suits me like a suit.")
I'm not sure how to write about my experience at Cymbeline. The production had morphed these past 3 months into a new show. It was the same actors and actresses, but it was a new show to me.
And I, even I who am a sucker for men who can sing, honestly could only say after Cymbeline, "Sean who?" Men singing seemed trivial compared to what I experienced with Cymbeline that night. It was extraordinary. I love musical theatre, I grew up on musical theatre, but that night, it was the beauty and strength of words, of full-hearted acting...I'm not sure how to explain it...
If Christopher Plummer wrote A Word or Two for people to 'get' into language again, to learn and fall in love with words, to expand our minds away from the digital age...this is what he meant. We were all changed by it that night.
I've never experienced anything equal to it. We had the lovely Monique Lund beside us, and hearing her gasp, clap and laugh was great. But it wasn't just her...it was all of us...
All of us in the theatre that night had an experience I wonder if it will ever be repeated. I felt the energy of the audience move up and down...be dangled by a string, and crunched like a bug. Maybe people who go to the theatre more than I have felt it before, but to me, this was a singular experience.
It was magic.
Being the final show, they gave it their all. Cara was phenomenal (a description even the new AD, Antoni Cimolino agreed with when we spoke after the show). I saw a new attack on the language in the play from her, a new power I haven't seen from from her before. She was, like Gabrielle Jones, a force to be reckoned with. I was completely floored. Comparing this to previous Cymbeline and to The Matchmaker - her Innogen was a stunning transformation. She had us all eating out of her hand. I gave her such a huge hug afterwards...
We also spoke with the awesome Josh Epstein. He is a great guy (have I mentioned he can sing, too?). I enjoy talking with him. I can't wait to see "The Matchmaker" again. I forgot his promised treat from me (that's if he reads my blog, if he hasn't read my blog, I owe him nothing teehee). I'll try to remember for my final show of the year on the 25th (Thank you, Mary!). He has great eyes.
I was able to introduce Braeden to a few others that night, too. They were so nice, even with the closing of, not just Cymbeline, but of the Tom Patterson this season. Graham Abbey was great and excited about Braeden getting a part in a local play -
WAIT ! I haven't mentioned that yet!? I'm a terrible mother!!
Braeden and Dakota have parts in a local production, Christmas Truce - 1914, about the peace treaty of Christmas Eve on No Man's Land. They are playing soldiers. I am SO excited and happy for them. I can't wait to see them on stage together.
We also spoke to the ever-incredible John Vickery (who I discussed Art of Time's War of the Worlds as a staged radio play later this month). He's so laid back.
I still have to officially meet Mike Shara. Dang, he is one talented human being.
Plus, when I conjured up enough nerve to introduce myself to Antoni Cimolino, he recognized me from the "Family Experience" videos I was in. I almost fell over. Like I said almost 2 years ago when I was retweeted by Mr. C, I feel as giddy as I was when Bon Jovi retweeted me. I will never meet Jon Bon Jovi, thought, so Mr. C wins.
Braeden was able to keep his hands off of my eyes so I could enjoy the Shirtless Wonders one more time (thank you all). What does it say when shirtless men is at the bottom of the list of my favourite things of the day? It means the actors, director, stage crew, lighting, music melted together into the most perfect night in the theatre I have ever experienced.
While all the shows I saw this season left an impression on me, this was the pinnacle of what theatre should be, at least, should strive to be. While it did not help me see life in a new way (like Wanderlust) nor make me cry because of pure talent (like 42nd Street), nor have me gaga over singing (take your pick), it was the most powerful 3 hours I have seen on stage. Ever.
Nya:weh to everyone involved in this night. As Braeden and I left the Patterson Theatre, coincidentally walking behind the last remaining cast member, Graham Abbey (because our vehicles were parked next to each other), I saw the behind-the-stage crew, who couldn't show up at the bar anytime soon for the drinks. I saw wonderful Marilu (Master Tailor and Cara Rickett's dresser) and her compatriots lugging arms-full of clothes to be washed, hung, packed up (what DO they do with the wardrobe after the closing night? How long will it take to put the into the costume warehouse?).
After the fight scene, I shook Braeden's shoulders like an excited schoolgirl. I dare say the look on his face after that scene was equal to Cordelia's eyes during, "We're in the Money." And I was blessed to experience them with my children.
There were 2 moments on stage which moved me to put my head on Braeden's shoulders in awe of the play, and in love with my son. If those 2 moments are the last I get to snuggle Braeden before he becomes too cool to snuggle his mom, I will be a very happy and content mom. Those moments of love are memories intertwined with our love of theatre and the magic of that night. If this is a taste of what is the future holds for Stratfest under the direction of Mr. Cimolino, it is in very good hands.
THIS is what theatre is about. It made me forget...everything. I was a clean slate coming out, with my heart intact, my head on straight, but together, my soul has been permanently expanded.
When I saw Cymbeline with Luke earlier this season, I knew this was a production Braeden had to see. This was not a Braeden would just get a kick out of it production. He needed to see the fight scene.
My mom wanted to help this day be special to us, so she gave us money for rush seats to a matinee. Braeden had to chose between, "Much Ado About Nothing" (which I still have to see) or "Pirates of Penzance." I fell off of my seat when he chose Pirates. I didn't complain, mind you, but I would have bet money that he would have chosen anything but a musical.
I'm a sucker for a man who can...oh nevermind, I repeat myself.
I repeat myself.
I think Braeden eventually enjoyed the show. He didn's sleep much the night before. Do teens ever get enough sleep? To be honest, he did start to nod off, but the Major General song woke him up for good. He was quite impressed with the extra verses regarding Stratfest's 60 years. It was a great moment in the show.
True to form, the men and women sang their hearts out. Amy Wallis is devine. Kyle Blaire gorgeous and perfect as the Slave to Duty Frederick. Sean Arbuckle is quite the sexy Pirate King (up there with the Dread Pirate Roberts and Jack Sparrow). Gabrielle Jones, in my opinion, steals the show, as she does with 42nd Street. She is a force to be reckoned with. Amazing job. What I would give to be able to sing like that - or even closer to that!
The family who sat around us were great. They had 2 small children. The grandmother played Nell in a production (and her husband was a stage hand) in Pirates when they were younger. She sang as we were all leaving and I complimented her. She apologized for it. I have been told far too many times these past years to stop singing - no one will ever be told to stop around me, only complimented. She had a gorgeous voice.
We went to the stage door and talked with new people, Mark Cassius and Kyle Blaire. Mark was in Jesus Christ Superstar. Look him up on twitter - his tweets are always positive influences on my day, without fail. I'm glad I told him so. Life is too short to not give sincere compliments to people.
Kyle Blaire was ever so much taller than I thought he would be. He was so kind to Braeden and I. I made sure to tell him about how much 42nd Street influenced Cordelia with her tap dancing (she now practices her math flash cards, with her tap shoes on...she has me play Stratford's 42nd Street videos off of youtube...when she gets a question correct, she taps to the music....I really need to tape her doing it). I hadn't realized how dreamy Kyle Blaire was before. Perhaps I need to look at and stop just listening?
I will admit that I was high on men singing Saturday afternoon. I remember myself talking about 'men who can sing' ad nauseum...poor people who were listening to me - and Braeden. We made a quick stop at the Exhibition again. The woman working was the same woman from Braeden's birthday trip there. I really have loved, and continue to love, every Stratford employee I have met, on or off the stage. How do they find such treasures?
We meandered around the Festival Theatre Store for a while, where I picked up last year's programme (which Cordelia feasted on, picking out anyone she knew, figuring out what else they were in, finding her favourites - Cara Ricketts and Stephen Patterson). I didn't realize how many shows I missed last year, and how lucky I was this year to see so many. I am so blessed to be in the twitter club, and have generous parents, and win a contest or two. I'm glad my gas is cheap on the rez.
Now, Cymbeline has been built up by me to Braeden since June 9. I'm sure Braeden became sick of me telling him how great it was and how he needed to see this fight scene. I hoped I didn't build it up too high.
It turned out, I didn't build it up enough.
Here's my boy ready for the show:
If you look up "mytimeatlast" on youtube, you will find 2 videos of Braeden from last season, when we saw Titus. My son grew up. He loves to wear suits. He wears one to school every Friday (he sings Barney Stinson's song, too, "Nothing suits me like a suit.")
I'm not sure how to write about my experience at Cymbeline. The production had morphed these past 3 months into a new show. It was the same actors and actresses, but it was a new show to me.
And I, even I who am a sucker for men who can sing, honestly could only say after Cymbeline, "Sean who?" Men singing seemed trivial compared to what I experienced with Cymbeline that night. It was extraordinary. I love musical theatre, I grew up on musical theatre, but that night, it was the beauty and strength of words, of full-hearted acting...I'm not sure how to explain it...
If Christopher Plummer wrote A Word or Two for people to 'get' into language again, to learn and fall in love with words, to expand our minds away from the digital age...this is what he meant. We were all changed by it that night.
I've never experienced anything equal to it. We had the lovely Monique Lund beside us, and hearing her gasp, clap and laugh was great. But it wasn't just her...it was all of us...
All of us in the theatre that night had an experience I wonder if it will ever be repeated. I felt the energy of the audience move up and down...be dangled by a string, and crunched like a bug. Maybe people who go to the theatre more than I have felt it before, but to me, this was a singular experience.
It was magic.
Being the final show, they gave it their all. Cara was phenomenal (a description even the new AD, Antoni Cimolino agreed with when we spoke after the show). I saw a new attack on the language in the play from her, a new power I haven't seen from from her before. She was, like Gabrielle Jones, a force to be reckoned with. I was completely floored. Comparing this to previous Cymbeline and to The Matchmaker - her Innogen was a stunning transformation. She had us all eating out of her hand. I gave her such a huge hug afterwards...
We also spoke with the awesome Josh Epstein. He is a great guy (have I mentioned he can sing, too?). I enjoy talking with him. I can't wait to see "The Matchmaker" again. I forgot his promised treat from me (that's if he reads my blog, if he hasn't read my blog, I owe him nothing teehee). I'll try to remember for my final show of the year on the 25th (Thank you, Mary!). He has great eyes.
I was able to introduce Braeden to a few others that night, too. They were so nice, even with the closing of, not just Cymbeline, but of the Tom Patterson this season. Graham Abbey was great and excited about Braeden getting a part in a local play -
WAIT ! I haven't mentioned that yet!? I'm a terrible mother!!
Braeden and Dakota have parts in a local production, Christmas Truce - 1914, about the peace treaty of Christmas Eve on No Man's Land. They are playing soldiers. I am SO excited and happy for them. I can't wait to see them on stage together.
We also spoke to the ever-incredible John Vickery (who I discussed Art of Time's War of the Worlds as a staged radio play later this month). He's so laid back.
I still have to officially meet Mike Shara. Dang, he is one talented human being.
Plus, when I conjured up enough nerve to introduce myself to Antoni Cimolino, he recognized me from the "Family Experience" videos I was in. I almost fell over. Like I said almost 2 years ago when I was retweeted by Mr. C, I feel as giddy as I was when Bon Jovi retweeted me. I will never meet Jon Bon Jovi, thought, so Mr. C wins.
Braeden was able to keep his hands off of my eyes so I could enjoy the Shirtless Wonders one more time (thank you all). What does it say when shirtless men is at the bottom of the list of my favourite things of the day? It means the actors, director, stage crew, lighting, music melted together into the most perfect night in the theatre I have ever experienced.
While all the shows I saw this season left an impression on me, this was the pinnacle of what theatre should be, at least, should strive to be. While it did not help me see life in a new way (like Wanderlust) nor make me cry because of pure talent (like 42nd Street), nor have me gaga over singing (take your pick), it was the most powerful 3 hours I have seen on stage. Ever.
Nya:weh to everyone involved in this night. As Braeden and I left the Patterson Theatre, coincidentally walking behind the last remaining cast member, Graham Abbey (because our vehicles were parked next to each other), I saw the behind-the-stage crew, who couldn't show up at the bar anytime soon for the drinks. I saw wonderful Marilu (Master Tailor and Cara Rickett's dresser) and her compatriots lugging arms-full of clothes to be washed, hung, packed up (what DO they do with the wardrobe after the closing night? How long will it take to put the into the costume warehouse?).
After the fight scene, I shook Braeden's shoulders like an excited schoolgirl. I dare say the look on his face after that scene was equal to Cordelia's eyes during, "We're in the Money." And I was blessed to experience them with my children.
There were 2 moments on stage which moved me to put my head on Braeden's shoulders in awe of the play, and in love with my son. If those 2 moments are the last I get to snuggle Braeden before he becomes too cool to snuggle his mom, I will be a very happy and content mom. Those moments of love are memories intertwined with our love of theatre and the magic of that night. If this is a taste of what is the future holds for Stratfest under the direction of Mr. Cimolino, it is in very good hands.
THIS is what theatre is about. It made me forget...everything. I was a clean slate coming out, with my heart intact, my head on straight, but together, my soul has been permanently expanded.
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Walls of our choosing, or built by someone else?
Say what you will, but I went to Stratford without my family knowing on Friday. It wasn't really that I meant it as a secret. The eldest were at a dance in Brampton and the younglings were being taken care of at home. I was in London (Ontario) for a 4 day birth and breastfeeding conference (another tale for a different blog) and had a great night to myself.
As per usual, and I know most moms would agree, all hell broke loose at home the first night of the conference. Why do families do that to those who are out of the home? I'm sure it isn't on purpose, but what is a mom to do 100 kms away, run home to fix it?!
Theatre therapy couldn't have come at a better moment for me.
The show of choice was Wanderlust. http://www.stratfordfestival.ca/OnStage/productions.aspx?id=16136&prodid=41239 I loved it, thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm sure if it didn't kick me so hard in the gut, I would be singing its praise even louder. There are only 2 shows left. I'm kind of glad I only saw it once.
Leaving my personal reasoning behind, this show is exceptionally well done - from the men AND women singing, to the gorgeous costumes, lighting design (I love the flying bird and the snow), and choreography - it was damn near perfect. Hmmm I'm not quite sure what would have made it perfect. More Lucy Peacock perhaps? I don't know...
It probably was perfect...
To get it out now - at one point, there were 7 men singing on stage. Happy Snoopy Dance...
Then, there was Robin Hutton (http://www.stratfordfestival.ca/OnStage/productions.aspx?id=16287&prodid=41239&id2=6367) and Lucy Peacock . They have distinctly different voices. Robin, and perhaps it was just because of her character, sings like an angel. Lucy Peacock sings like she should be singing the really good old jazz - singing from her soul. I think she stole the show. She was sexy, provocative, made a great drunk, and SINGS! I know I've posted this link before, but here is a quick mix of the songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbnmMB_LUwc These 2 incredibly talented women are why I don't want a woman to sing to me on my birthday next year. I'm far too jealous.
Tom Rooney made me swoon...maybe I'll nickname him Swooney Rooney? [bad joke, sorry]
Now, the part of the story I want to talk about, the one that kicked me in the gut, was a scene between Lou and Robert. Their discussion was whether living in a 'cage' is palatable since if it was chosen by the person, compared to having someone else build one for you. Lou was deciding on whom to marry, fully understanding the consequences of it.
This made me reflect on an article written by Kevin Yee (Linus in Charlie Brown, and in the male chorus, I guess you could say, in Wanderlust).
Before I go further, read this article Kevin wrote: Boy, band, bust. My heart broke/breaks when I read this article, mostly this part:
But music was not the main concern for the group’s management; marketability was, and I was their main target. One day our manager walked me into the offices of our record label for a closed-door meeting with the head executives. I was told that if I wanted to be a star I would have to do a few things. Translation: change everything.
“You’re coming off gay. It’s okay if you are, but we’re selling this band to teenaged girls. They’re the ones spending money. The success of this group is contingent on these girls having a crush on you, so you have to act like you like them.” What does it mean to act more straight? “Well, let’s start with the way you walk. You walk very gay, and we need to fix that.” So the lessons began. We would walk up and down the aisles of a grocery store practising my “straight walk.” Said “straight walk” is best described as a slow lurching limp, a far cry from my superb balletic posture.
“We need to make you look . . . well . . . not so . . . you.” With that I was sent off to get my hair spiked and bleached white. A few piercings and a fake tan and I no longer looked like me; I looked like a rebellious sea monkey.
Kevin was 15 when this happened. FIFTEEN! What a horrendous thing to say to a child, to a teenager who just by being a teen boy means feeling ill-equipped to fit into an ever changing body and mentality. Add to that, being a 15 year old gay teenager, who had to look like a 'rebellious sea monkey" to be in the band.
How does one begin to wrap their head around that?
What I was thinking was whether it was Kevin's choice to be okay to 'straight walk' in order to be in the band (his walls), or it was it the record company's force which built the walls? I know I'm harping on his age (I have a 15 year old son), but can a 15 year old boy really understand the consequences? Either way, it must have been horrible to act as someone/something you are not.
It was deplorable of the record company to demand such a life change of Kevin.
As a straight female I can say Kevin Yee was a sexy beast on stage in Wanderlust. Learning to "act straight" paid off for him here, but at what consequence to those years between 15 and 18?
The day he came out must have been the most liberating moments of his life. He said:
When the band ended three years later, the first thing I did was come out of the closet. I was sick of pretending to be someone else and wanted to be happy. I gave up on the music industry. If they couldn’t appreciate who I was, then I wasn’t interested.
As for me, I have walls, a full cage, built up around me - but not of my own choosing, at first. It wiggled, and slithered around me over the past 15 or so years until it started to choke the life, my inner-voice, the essence of 'me', out of me. There have been parts of me locked away. I know that I have agreed to a wall or two in order to keep the peace, but others were slowly built around me like slow-drying cement (if there is such a thing).
I've worked hard over the past couple of years to be heard. The cage, once sound proof and double locked, now has dozens of holes which were kicked, punched, and head-butted out by me. Plus, I found the keys. These breathing holes mean the world to me.
What made these holes? Stratford, my kids' theatre productions, Art of Time Ensemble, art galleries, the Barenaked Ladies cruise, old time jazz, counselling, prayer...
It took Wanderlust to smack me in the head and yell, "WAKE UP, STUPID!"
Although I'm not dealing with homosexuality, I'm dealing with the constraints of a life where patience and hope have been demanded and expected of me. I have done things, agreed to some things, not to others, which some people have told me to do to keep status quo to allow others time to heal. I'm at the point in my life where I know this must stop. I want to be happy with my choices, like Kevin was/is with his.
And if I will still have walls, they will be built by me. Good luck to whoever tries to break them down.
I've been thinking about this seriously for the past 2 or 3 months, a much shorter time than others may think.
Hearing Lou and Robert speak of her decision, about agreeing and therefore being in control of her own borders, or about relinquishing and giving the control to others - even though the physical outcome may be the same was hard for me to swallow. What she says is so true. The decision to speak up for your own heart comes at a cost...but what a pay-off!
Going against your intuition is self-defeating.
Time to burst out of my cage.
As per usual, and I know most moms would agree, all hell broke loose at home the first night of the conference. Why do families do that to those who are out of the home? I'm sure it isn't on purpose, but what is a mom to do 100 kms away, run home to fix it?!
Theatre therapy couldn't have come at a better moment for me.
The show of choice was Wanderlust. http://www.stratfordfestival.ca/OnStage/productions.aspx?id=16136&prodid=41239 I loved it, thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm sure if it didn't kick me so hard in the gut, I would be singing its praise even louder. There are only 2 shows left. I'm kind of glad I only saw it once.
Leaving my personal reasoning behind, this show is exceptionally well done - from the men AND women singing, to the gorgeous costumes, lighting design (I love the flying bird and the snow), and choreography - it was damn near perfect. Hmmm I'm not quite sure what would have made it perfect. More Lucy Peacock perhaps? I don't know...
It probably was perfect...
To get it out now - at one point, there were 7 men singing on stage. Happy Snoopy Dance...
Then, there was Robin Hutton (http://www.stratfordfestival.ca/OnStage/productions.aspx?id=16287&prodid=41239&id2=6367) and Lucy Peacock . They have distinctly different voices. Robin, and perhaps it was just because of her character, sings like an angel. Lucy Peacock sings like she should be singing the really good old jazz - singing from her soul. I think she stole the show. She was sexy, provocative, made a great drunk, and SINGS! I know I've posted this link before, but here is a quick mix of the songs. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbnmMB_LUwc These 2 incredibly talented women are why I don't want a woman to sing to me on my birthday next year. I'm far too jealous.
Tom Rooney made me swoon...maybe I'll nickname him Swooney Rooney? [bad joke, sorry]
Now, the part of the story I want to talk about, the one that kicked me in the gut, was a scene between Lou and Robert. Their discussion was whether living in a 'cage' is palatable since if it was chosen by the person, compared to having someone else build one for you. Lou was deciding on whom to marry, fully understanding the consequences of it.
This made me reflect on an article written by Kevin Yee (Linus in Charlie Brown, and in the male chorus, I guess you could say, in Wanderlust).
Before I go further, read this article Kevin wrote: Boy, band, bust. My heart broke/breaks when I read this article, mostly this part:
But music was not the main concern for the group’s management; marketability was, and I was their main target. One day our manager walked me into the offices of our record label for a closed-door meeting with the head executives. I was told that if I wanted to be a star I would have to do a few things. Translation: change everything.
“You’re coming off gay. It’s okay if you are, but we’re selling this band to teenaged girls. They’re the ones spending money. The success of this group is contingent on these girls having a crush on you, so you have to act like you like them.” What does it mean to act more straight? “Well, let’s start with the way you walk. You walk very gay, and we need to fix that.” So the lessons began. We would walk up and down the aisles of a grocery store practising my “straight walk.” Said “straight walk” is best described as a slow lurching limp, a far cry from my superb balletic posture.
“We need to make you look . . . well . . . not so . . . you.” With that I was sent off to get my hair spiked and bleached white. A few piercings and a fake tan and I no longer looked like me; I looked like a rebellious sea monkey.
Kevin was 15 when this happened. FIFTEEN! What a horrendous thing to say to a child, to a teenager who just by being a teen boy means feeling ill-equipped to fit into an ever changing body and mentality. Add to that, being a 15 year old gay teenager, who had to look like a 'rebellious sea monkey" to be in the band.
How does one begin to wrap their head around that?
What I was thinking was whether it was Kevin's choice to be okay to 'straight walk' in order to be in the band (his walls), or it was it the record company's force which built the walls? I know I'm harping on his age (I have a 15 year old son), but can a 15 year old boy really understand the consequences? Either way, it must have been horrible to act as someone/something you are not.
It was deplorable of the record company to demand such a life change of Kevin.
As a straight female I can say Kevin Yee was a sexy beast on stage in Wanderlust. Learning to "act straight" paid off for him here, but at what consequence to those years between 15 and 18?
The day he came out must have been the most liberating moments of his life. He said:
When the band ended three years later, the first thing I did was come out of the closet. I was sick of pretending to be someone else and wanted to be happy. I gave up on the music industry. If they couldn’t appreciate who I was, then I wasn’t interested.
As for me, I have walls, a full cage, built up around me - but not of my own choosing, at first. It wiggled, and slithered around me over the past 15 or so years until it started to choke the life, my inner-voice, the essence of 'me', out of me. There have been parts of me locked away. I know that I have agreed to a wall or two in order to keep the peace, but others were slowly built around me like slow-drying cement (if there is such a thing).
I've worked hard over the past couple of years to be heard. The cage, once sound proof and double locked, now has dozens of holes which were kicked, punched, and head-butted out by me. Plus, I found the keys. These breathing holes mean the world to me.
What made these holes? Stratford, my kids' theatre productions, Art of Time Ensemble, art galleries, the Barenaked Ladies cruise, old time jazz, counselling, prayer...
It took Wanderlust to smack me in the head and yell, "WAKE UP, STUPID!"
Although I'm not dealing with homosexuality, I'm dealing with the constraints of a life where patience and hope have been demanded and expected of me. I have done things, agreed to some things, not to others, which some people have told me to do to keep status quo to allow others time to heal. I'm at the point in my life where I know this must stop. I want to be happy with my choices, like Kevin was/is with his.
And if I will still have walls, they will be built by me. Good luck to whoever tries to break them down.
I've been thinking about this seriously for the past 2 or 3 months, a much shorter time than others may think.
Hearing Lou and Robert speak of her decision, about agreeing and therefore being in control of her own borders, or about relinquishing and giving the control to others - even though the physical outcome may be the same was hard for me to swallow. What she says is so true. The decision to speak up for your own heart comes at a cost...but what a pay-off!
Going against your intuition is self-defeating.
Time to burst out of my cage.
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